Time Squared
by Nefret429
Summary: The Leauge of Extraordinary Gentlemen are blasted back into the 17th century, and team up with the Caribbean gang to try to beat Barbossa and the Fantom. Then everyone is taken back to Middle-Earth.
1. M's Device

"Time Squared" The Leauge of Extraordinary Gentlemen are blasted back into the 17th century, and team up with the Caribbean gang to try to beat Barbossa and the Fantom. Then everyone is taken back to Middle-Earth. Insanity insues.  
  
Disclamer: Unfortunatly, I don't own anybody. Oh, what I would give to own Tom Sawyer... Oh well, on with the show...  
  
Chapter 1: M's Device  
  
Tom Sawyer dodged the floating knife, shoving his invisible opponet backwards. The invisible man slashed agian, catching Sawyer across his arm. The young American cursed graphicly, swinging his newly-recovered rifle at the other man. The gun connected solidly with the man's head. He dropped to the ground, stunned. Sawyer spun and ran towards the study where Quartermain had gone. He had complete confidance in the old hunter, but he was after revenge himself.  
  
Suddenly, something rammed into him from behind. Sawyer started to stand up, finding that the invisible man was back, holding a knife to his throat. They proceded into the study, where Quatermain and the Fantom, otherwise known as M, were locked in battle.  
"You have other things to worry about," M was saying,"Like your young American friend. Perhaps you should have trained him better. Like your son." The hunter started to turn around when Sawyer felt the knife jerk, producing a shallow cut at the base of his throat. Then the invisible man dropped away. Nemo, the turbaned captian of their ship, the Nautilius, stood behind the young man. Next to him skinny scientist Henry Jeykell was breathless. He'd obviously just gotten out of a transformation into Edward Hyde, his monsterous alter-ego. Mina Harker, the resident vampire entered, looking somewhat shaken, but still dangerous. Then a mostly-invisible man, one Rodney Skinner, hobbled into the room looking very ticked off. He had retreived his grease-paint, but the long leather coat was too far gone to rescue.  
"I'm never doing that agian!" Skinner said, poking at his painfull burns. Suddenly, M ran towards the other side of the room, laughing.  
"I'm glad you all could join me. I want to show you my latest invention. I believe you'll find it fasinating," M sneered. He pulled out a small mechanical device, pushing a button. The room exploded in a flash of light.  
  
Well, sorry about the shortness, but this really seemed like a good stopping point. Should I keep going with this? Please R&R. Enjoy! (crossing my fingers) Later collected intelligent beings of the literary universe... 


	2. Not in Siberia Anymore

Okay, three people liked it so the insanity continues! In response to a request for Dorien to be included into the story, i'll work on it. But I can't promise anything since the first chapter took place while he was being killed by Mina... Okay, well, we get some POTC in the next chapter. Takes place when Jack and Liz are stuck on Jack's Uncharted Isle. Hope you enjoy! R&R some more, PLEASE!!!!!  
  
Chapter 2: Not in Siberia Anymore... The Caribbean  
"What're you DOING?!" Jack Sparrow, the former captian of the legendary Black Pearl, shouted drunkenly at the pretty blonde woman who was currently burning their very limited provisions,"That's our food, and provisions and... the rum? Where's the rum?!"  
"The rum is gone," the blonde said matter-of-factly,"I'm creating a signal fire."  
"Yes, that wonderful, love... but why is the rum gone?" Jack blinked his kohl-laiden eyes at the woman, Elizabeth.  
"First of all, it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into sensless drunkards. Secondly, the smoke from that fire is over a hundred feet high. Half the Royal Navy is out looking for me! They can't miss us!" Elizabeth sat down on the beach, ignoring Jack's outraged expression,"Just you wait. Give it an hour. Two, at the most." Jack pulled out his pistol, fully intending to take out the infuriating woman then and there. Then common sense took hold of him, and he replaced the weapon with a sound somewhere between a scream and a groan. The pirate stumbled away from Elizabeth, wanting to scream at her that if she weren't the true love of the son of a close friend of his, he'd have killed her outright. As he walked over a sand dune his annoyed sounds turned into a muttered curse. Sitting in the cove was the HMS Dauntless, pride of the Royal Navy. Just as Elizabeth had said.  
"She'll never let me live this down..." Jack murmered. Then he heard a moan that hadn't come from him. he glanced back, thinking mabye Elizabeth had followed him. She was still sitting on the beach several yards away from him. Jack heard the moan agian, louder this time, acompianed by several graphic curses. Suddenly, a young man, who looked to be about Will's age, if not younger, stumbled out of the jungle. Jack stared. The boy was dressed strangly, and held a rifle that Jack had never before seen. It looked formidable, not just as a gun, but also in the heavy silver and gold plating on it's barrel. It would make a fine club, if worse came to worse. It also looked meticulously well-cared for.  
"Well, what have we here?" Jack muttered, catching the young man's attention. The boy leveled his weapon at Jack imedeatly, his gaze going to the sword at the pirate's belt. Confusion flashed in his hazel eyes.  
"Who are you?" the boy spoke with an unusual accent, one Jack had yet to hear,"How the hell... where am I?"  
"Uh, an unnamed island in the Caribbean Sea?" Jack grinned,"And, um, i'm Jack Sparrow. Capt'n Jack Sparrow, formerly of the Black Pearl. Which you'll have heard of, of course..."  
"The Caribbean?" the boy looked even more confused,"The Black Pearl? What, is that a ship?" Jack stood open-mouthed, staring at the boy as if he were crazy,"You musta jus' gotten here, mate. The Pearl's the most famed pirate ship in the Caribbean. Where you from?"  
"Originally? Mississippi. But I was in Siberia a few minutes ago..."  
"Where? Who are you, mate?" Now it was Jack's turn to look confused.  
"Tom Sawyer," he lowered his weapon causiously,"American Secret Service..."  
"Jack!" Elizabeth came towards them, waving excitedly,"See? I told you it'd work! I-" She saw Sawyer and stopped, curious. Sawyer, obviously overwhelmed, let himself collapse onto the sand and went unconcious.  
"Well, look what you did!" Jack exclaimed,"He was jus' fine 'til YOU showed up!"  
"Me? What did I do?"  
"I don' know, love, but you musta done SOMETHING. Men don't jus' faint like that without a reason. 'Less he's a woman..."  
"Jack, you're disturbed, you know that?"  
"Sure, love. Hasn't stopped me yet, so I don't see any reason to change. Savvy?" They were still arguing over Sawyer's limp body when Commidore Norrington himself, with several of his men, landed a long boat on shore.  
"What have we here?" Norrington got out of the boat. Jack and Elizabeth stopped shouting curses at one another. Elizabeth turned from the pirate.  
"Commedore," she nodded politly,"Good to see you. I shall be happy to explain this, but this man here should have some medical attention, don't you think? You do have a doctor on board, don't you?" Norrington, still looking rather mystified, nodded and ordered his men to pick up Sawyer's unconcious form and escort Jack and Elizabeth back to the ship. The Commedore then gave the sad island a quick apprasial before joining his party in the longboat.  
  
The light subsided, and Mina Harker found herself lying on the wooden planking of what she took to be a ship. Several unsavory-looking men were leaning over her curiously. When one reached out to take her pulse, her vampric instincts took over, and within seconds the man was sans windpipe. However, instead of dying as he should have, he just grinned, wiping a dirty hankerchef across his bloody throat.  
"This lass's got attitude," the man anounced with a laugh, his voice grating,"Bring 'er to the Captian!" Several men attepted to grab Mina, and their rewards were a handfull of bats. She rose into the air, a demonic beauty with white fangs and claws. The men looked on in awe, realizing now that this was no mere woman. Mina was sorely suprised to find that they weren't scared, as she was accustomed to, but were rather admiring. Where am I? she wondered franticly. She was jolted out of her panic when a knife lodged itself in her shoulder. It couldn't really do any harm, but it shot her into a killing frenzy. After she was done, several of the pirates (she noticed their flag) had been tossed overboard, and she was standing in a deckfull of apparent corpses. Clapping came from the entrance to a cabin below the sterncastle. A man in a large, gaudy hat stood there with a wicked half-smile on his face.  
"Good show, miss," the man's voice sounded like dry leaves rustling in the fall gardens back home in London,"That wound looks nasty. Perhaps you shoud treat it?"  
"I don't need to," Mina declared, giving the man a scathing look,"But your men may."  
"Ahhh, but you see, it's hard to kill someone who is already dead," the man grinned.  
"And it's hard to kill someone who cannot die. I told an old aquantince of mine that," Mina smiled, revealing sharp fangs,"He didn't listen. Do you want to know what I did to him?"  
"Who are you, miss?" the man looked more intriged than anything.  
"I think the proper question is WHAT am I," Mina's smile widened,"But do you really want to answer that?"  
"You know what they say. The truth will set you free."  
"In this case, it will more than likely destroy you."  
"We'll see about that." Mina didn't notice one of the pirates that she had supposedly killed come up behind her, and knock her unconcious with a pistol.  
  
Hope you liked this chapter. I might have the next chapter in Middle Earth, but the LXG/POTC gang can't get back there until they're all together with M and his mysterious device. If you have any ideas, please R&R and suggest! I'm sorta drawing a blank here. Meanwhile, I gotta go do stuff. Neffi out... 


End file.
